A Pre Christmas Story

I was driving home today through a busy ECP. A highly modded Subaru WRX was trying to cut into my lane. Unfortunately, this car came too close to mine as it passed and side-swiped my mirror. I was unable to swerve out of the way given that there was an SBS bus on the next lane. So we pulled over to the side.

There wasn't much damage to either car, just several deep scratches on both mirrors which miraculously remained intact. A big Ah Beng (yellow spiked hair, 4 earrings and two nose studs) came out of the car (why was I not surprised?) and began shouting vulgarities as he explained to me that I should have jammed on my brakes to let his car pass. I explained to him that he should retake his basic theory. After another round of vulgarities, I asked if he wanted to make any insurance claims or whether he wanted to settle this here.

Not surprisingly he decided to settle after another round of vulgarities. I was actually impressed with his extensive vocabulary of expletives in both hokkien and english. I suppose that makes him effectively bilingual.

He offered $100 as compensation, but I told him that I only wanted an apology. He screamed off a few more expletives and made it quite clear that he would not apologise, threw $100 onto the road and got back into his car screaming more expletives. As he drove off, he wound down his window and flashed his middle finger at me out of the window. I was impressed by the length of his arm.

About 400m down the road, with his arm still hanging out of the window, he lost control of his vehicle and crashed into the road divider. He came out of his car yelling and gesticulating but I really couldn't hear him from where I was. He reminded me of a gesticulating chimpanzee.

I promise I tried my best not to laugh.

So I picked up his money but felt dirty holding on to it. So I later donated it to the community chest. I honestly thought I would lose my temper and engage in vulgarity sparring, but I surprised myself by keeping my cool throughout the whole incident.

Lessons learnt?

(1) It's difficult to drive and flash your middle finger out of the window.

(2) Ah Bengs go with WRXs - that's one car I will never buy.

(3) I did not feel sore after the whole incident, but if I had become angry, I think would be fuming even now.

(4) A person shouting vulgarities and flashing obscene gestures from a distance bears a strong resemblance to a chimpanzee.

(5) "If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them water to drink. You will heap burning coals on their heads, and the Lord will reward you." [Proverbs 21:25-26] - How true.